Today I would like to tell you more about my personal Tantra journey.
This post was first published in german on tantra4men.de
How did it all begin?
It all started in spring 2012. I had a hard time at work and in my private life. There were many changes and I felt like I needed a retreat, something just for me. I didn’t want to go with my group from the Gay Outdoor Club, where I was chairman, responsible for over 1400 members. I just wanted to try something new.
I started looking for more „bodywork“ in a loving environment on the Internet. So I came across Tantra. I intentionally didn’t read the exact details, I was too scared and I knew with too much information I might not participate and back down. I have just booked my first tantric holiday on the island of Ischias (Italy). I was challenged. Also very anxious to open up to strangers. Soon I discovered the playfulness and love in the group and felt more and more accepted and comfortable in my skin.
The first sessions were a big challenge for me. I remember a „mirror session“ where we had to study in pairs naked in front of a mirror and tell each other what we liked and disliked about the other body and our own. I have scars all over my body from an accident with fire in the 70s and I like my body. The partner had a sexy, muscular body and he wouldn’t stop telling me what he didn’t like about his body. There was no end. I couldn’t see a millimeter I didn’t like about him. I thought about it all the time. I have my burn marks all over my body and I love it the way It is. His body on the other hand is without traces, full muscles, no fat, beautiful face (more of a candidate for immediate marriage 😉 )
I thought wow! It’s not really about what you see, it’s about your inner beauty. It became more and more clear to me that every person perceives himself differently and that my physical perception depends on my own feelings. Not so much how he really looks or how others see him. I will never forget this experience in my life. I learned to take my body as it is and I was no longer afraid to show it (not even naked). I became freer and freer in thinking – with myself and with others. The beautiful thing – in retrospect – was certainly to revise and dismantle my own prejudices and views. This gave me a great incentive to do so.
It was a real healing experience for me.
In this way I started with Tantra and since then I love to accept challenges again and again and to question my own points of view.
There is much more to tell, but that should be enough for my first part!